Jealousy

Jealousy is such an ugly thing. There’s nothing pretty about a green eyed monster. I wish I didn’t get so jealous, but I can’t help it. I don’t want anyone else getting too close to him. I want him all for myself, pretty selfish of me huh?

You would think some guys knew what to say to a girl. Like when a guy and a girl get into a fight, they start ignoring each other; but really the girl wants him to break it. She wants him to hold her hand or kiss her, or hug her and tell her he loves her and always will. When guys get girls upset, of course they don’t know what to say; but it would be nice to hear why they’re sorry or it would be nice for them to say something sweet to make up for the girl’s tears and put a smile on her face once again.

Yesterday was absolutely amazing. I wouldn’t switch it with anything else. I hope those wonderful days keep growing bigger. Like more of them keep coming. Of course all wonderful days have to come with a bad ending. I got jealous again. I can’t help getting a bad feeling about this person. I can’t help it that I don’t want him to be near her. I guess I got attached to soon or something. I just don’t want to lose him, but I’m afraid if I keep acting like this, I’m going to push him away.

I wish our wonderful day didn’t get ruined. I wish we were still being happy and everything and I wish I didn’t fall asleep when he told me I could call him. Even though he guessed I feel asleep, I didn’t understand why he couldn’t of sent me a text or something…something to show to me that he wasn’t ignoring me or that he was ok.

Gawd I can’t wait to see him again. I miss him so much already. I feel bad about today because I basically ruined it by getting jealous. I want to hear his voice. I want to be in his arms again and I want him to tell me he’ll never leave me for anyone else, that i’m his one and only, and that no matter how painful our summer is going to be that he won’t leave me. That he’ll be strong for those 4 weeks I’m going to be gone. That he won’t leave me for the pain he has from not seeing me. I want him to tell me all this, not on the phone or on text, but in person…

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