Let me keep you forever.

Posted November 16, 2009 by butterflynight
Categories: Dylan, Feelings, Ideas

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I hate that I almost keep losing you. You make me the happiest person in the world. I want to be different. I don’t want to be scared anymore, when I’m with you I don’t feel scared. I feel safe, I feel your love, I realize that you do want to be with me forever. Losing you is like losing something special to you when you were little. It’s like killing your only happiness.

I’ll do anything for you, I’ll do anything to be with you. For me to change you have to be strong for me. You have to stay by my side. I don’t want to lose the love of my life. You’ve helped me accomplish so much. You’ve let me release my true feelings and you accept it. I need to be with you, I need to stay with my one and only.

You mend my heart from being broken, you’re different from all the rest, you actually care. you actually want to be with you. I don’t remember ever feeling this way with another guy. You walked into my life and I was blinded by love at first sight, I didn’t even realize it. Then after a while I started talking to you and I released what was locked away. I let out all my feelings, I let out my happiness, I let out all my love. To one person and one person alone. You.

My true love was locked up, afraid of being hurt over and over again, but I couldn’t stop it from coming out when we started talking. It had a mind of its own. All of a sudden I wanted to know you more, I wanted to kiss you, I wanted to be in your arms. You made me feel alive all over again. You made me smile. Then when we went out on our first date, it was the happiest I’ve been since a long time. I kept wanting to kiss you, I kept wanting to be in your arms. I got attached and didn’t want to let go.

You’ve made me grow from what I used to be. You’ve shown my heart how to love again, you’ve shown me how to be happy again in someone’s arms. You’ve shown me so many new things that I wouldn’t be able to do before. You show me that there is someone out there that wants to be with me as much as I want to be with them. I’ve found my one and only. I’ve found you.

I love you with all my heart and so much more. I love you with my soul. I believe we were meant to be together. I believe we’re soul mates. I believe I can change with your help. Your everything to me Dylan. Your my stars and moon. You light up my night. You lead my way to happiness. And when I get there, you’re there. To take me hand and hold me in a warm, loving, caring hug. Your smile, your voice, your love: it means the world to me.

I don’t ever want to lose this feeling I have with you. I believe it’s true love.

You are my true love Dylan.



Tell me how you’d feel if you lost me. Tell me how you would feel if I disappeared. Remind me how important I am to you.


New Complete Outfit

Posted July 11, 2009 by butterflynight
Categories: Activities, Ideas, Shopping, Vacations

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Well I finally completed the outfit in my mind. When I bought that Hot topic dress I kept imaging what it would look like etc. I want to get many of accessories with it. Let start with the picture of the dress:

The dress in my opinion is really cute. I loved it when I first saw it. When I tried it on it looked really good. Then after a while of looking at myself in the mirror with it on I kind of look bigger in it, but oh well I still look cute in it.

The first thing I thought I should have for this dress are black shoes. Not just any kind of shoes, Flats. I went to Kohl’s and found the perfect pair. They were juniors of course, but I’m not sure if I wear Juniors or Women’s. I tried them on but it hurt a little, but they fit well. So I bought them and went home. Here are the flats:

I walked around in them to break them in, apparently they broke me in. >.< They pretty much cut my ankle, the back of it of course. The problem I have in these shoes is that I don’t know how to walk in them =/ I’m used to wearing sandals and whenever I walk in these shoes my feet clench onto the shoes, that I’ll need to fix.

The second thing I thought was that the dress would look really cute with a ribbon headband. It could either be pure black or while and black, but that’s not how it happened. We went to tons of stores in the mall and finally came to Icing. Where we found at the last moment the perfect headband. 🙂 But of course I can’t take pictures off of the Icing website anymore, I’m sorry. But the headband was perfect, but for this type of headband I like my bangs in front not pulled back 😛

Now the third thing I thought about was a shall type thing, basically like a jacket. I bet you’ve realized that the dress is strapless so forth I wont be able to wear it to school, but not now. Now that I have the jacket/shall thing I can wear the dress to school as log as I keep it on. Let me try ton find a picture of it at Macy’s….nope can’t find it on here either. I hope everyone knows what I’m talking about. It’s a black sweater type thing. Kinda like this:

But the one I got was smaller and black. The arms didn’t go that far down, but hey that’s just an example. Well I got home and tried it all on and it was very cute. 🙂 I’m excited to wear it.

Thanx for reading my long awaited post. Hope you check in regularly.

★Music Magic★

Posted June 29, 2009 by butterflynight
Categories: Activities, Family and Friends, Feelings, Ideas, Music

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Lifehouse – Hanging by a moment
Now I feel that this is 100% a love song. I’m saying this because I’m sure everyone by now knows that I suck at telling if the song is a love song or not. >.< So to me this one is. I chose this one, because each day that goes by, I seem to be falling more in love with Dylan. So much that I never want to have to let go and it shows how I feel in my own opinion :). Plus doesn’t it seem that Lifehouse makes a lot of love songs in my opinion 😛

Journey to the Past
This song comes from my favorite movie from when I was little, yes Anastasia. 😛 At least well it’s basically the same song, but in a different version XD. To me the song is about finding yourself. Oh yeah, sorry I really don’t know who sings the song 😦

Aly & Aj – Never Far Behind
I don’t really listen to them, but this has always been a song that I like listening to. It shows to me that I’m never alone. Like it makes me think a lot and it makes me feel that way.

Reliant K – Be My Escape
Yes, I do love this song. I always have and I want someone to become my escape from pain, I want to be able to love myself and I want to be able to not be afraid of anything. Sometimes I feel locked up in a dark lonely place with no way out, as if no one can help me.

Mandy Moore – Only Hope
This is a great song. It comes from the movie A Walk to Remember. It might just be one of my favorite movies, even though I’ve only watched it twice, but that’s only because I don’t own it. It’s a really good love story. I wish I owned the movie though. =/ I might try to find it for a good price or something. Yeah, it’s a slow song. XD

Saosin – You’re Not Alone
This one defiantly makes me feel like I’m not alone. I don’t really know the true meaning of the song, but I still like it a lot. I like Saosin’s songs 😛 well the ones that I’ve heard before. lol. It’s also a slow song. Yeah don’t know much to say for this one one, next! 😀

Making April – Roses and Butterflies
I swear I’ve used this song before in another post but I just can’t remember which one I used it in. I also don’t know much to say about this song, but I really like it. I don’t really see this as a love song, but maybe it is, who knows 😛 We’re almost done, so relax and enjoy some more songs. 🙂

Failed Escape – Chasing After
I have no idea what this song means 😛 but it’s kind of an addicting song and I like it a lot.

Mandy Moore – It’s gonna be love
It’s another song by Mandy Moore and yes its another song from the movie, A Walk to Remember. This song is like a love song. To me it shows a love that’s just starting to develop and grow stronger. Talking about a true love kind of thing. Not sure how to explain it, but I kind of relate to this song. Oh yeah the music video has spoilers.

Ok, that’s all for the music videos today 😀 I hope you all enjoyed the songs. Wow this was a long post kind of. Well come back soon 😀

♥The Moon & Stars ♥

Posted June 29, 2009 by butterflynight
Categories: Activities, Dylan, Family and Friends, Feelings, Ideas

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The moon and  stars are one of my most favorite things in this world. They’re so bright and beautiful, especially when there’s a lot of them. When I see them I feel full of life, and I get relaxed. My favorite kind of moon is a Full Moon.

One day I want to live where you can see the moon and stars perfectly. So that I could lay on a blanket on a hill and stare up at them. Maybe have someone lay next to me and hold me tight, maybe kiss me under the stars. 🙂

I believe that the Moon and stars are a romantic symbol not only a dream symbol. Especially when two people so in love with each other are far away from each other. When that happens they can both stare up at the moon while talking on the phone and realize that even though they’re far away from each other, they’re still under the same sky.

Even if one person can already see the moon, the other person should try as hard as they can to find it, no matter what. If it means going outside, go outside. If it means going in a different room, do that. Sure it might not be the same side of the moon, but it’s still the same moon.

I’ve always loved the Moon and stars. I could stare at them forever. I hope that one day my true love will kiss me on a hilltop under the stars. For some reason I believe that the Moon and Stars can bring two people a long, happy, and loving relationship. The Moon and Stars will always be a romantic symbol too in my eyes.

Las Vegas

Posted June 28, 2009 by butterflynight
Categories: Activities, Family and Friends, Feelings, Shopping, Vacations

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Sorry guys, I haven’t been on here in a very long time. I’ve been very busy with my vacation and stuff that I haven’t had time. I guess I’ll try to write something new every week. Like explain what I did in that week etc.

So let me give you some information.  I’m in Las Vegas right now, California was fun. I bought some interesting things. I’m keeping a long travel blog on my laptop which i prefer not to rewrite on here. So I’m just going to put that blog up when I go back to Indiana. It’s going to include my plane ride from Chicago to Las Vegas from Las Vegas to Orange County. Then it’ll include my travel from Las Vegas to Chicago.

Well I got here on Saturday and boy was that a long drive. I felt sick after finally getting there. We went through different places with different temperatures. I finally got there and it seemed really dull at the time. Everyone was sitting and talking n i just wanted to go upstairs and rest. Call Dylan and sleep 😛 but no I couldn’t do that. After a while I think I unpacked and did stay upstairs.

Then next day after that my dad took me to the library and then everyone went to see The Proposal. It was a predictable movie, but it was still really good and really funny. Ever since my arrival in Las Vegas i was having a rough time. I wanted to go home earlier then i was suppose to but i didn’t know how to talk to my dad about it and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings cuz I love my dad.

So from the depressing time, it all caused me to cry exactly every single night since I got to Vegas. On Sunday I think my dad and I went to the Swap meat…got nothing really XD Then we went back home and did something i don’t remember. I think we played Skip-Bo. On Monday I think it was a pretty chill day, don’t remember much on that day either. Got my pillow fabric, etc.

On Tuesday we went to Broadway Pizza for the last dinner with my step mom’s parents. They came to visit and went home on Wednesday.  Which on Wednesday I watched DVDs, played card games. Then Thursday I started my pillow, its no where to being finished. I went over to my friend’s house and spent two nights over there.

The first night we watched a movie and went swimming at night. It’s like a tradition for us. I talked on the phone and went on the computer, it was fun. Then we fell asleep while watching many episodes of Invader Zim. I swear I heard all the episodes in my dream XD. On Friday we watched Friday the 13th then went to a park to play volleyball. My body was in so much pain and still is. I had this mega huge headache which seems to be gone now.

Then today, Saturday, my friend and I went to her volleyball tournament. Even thought they lost, they still played really well and it was a close game. After that I was dropped off at my dad’s house. Where we played May I, then my dad took me to the library where I got two large bag fulls of books and DVDs. Then we went shopping around in cell phone stores then went to my grandma’s house to find out she’s not there.

Which all brings us to now when I should be eating Dinner. So I’ll try to write back soon. Sorry that I haven’t written in a while. Ttyl.

Another Virus

Posted June 9, 2009 by butterflynight
Categories: Activities, Ideas, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , ,

Well it’s not really another virus, it’s the same virus. And i highly doubt it ever left my computer. My laptop is having a One Care scanning day. Hopefully it fixes things so that I can at least open up documents and write by hand what the documents say. There’s like 5 documents that I really care about.

The pictures are another thing that I might have to lose. 😦 I have a whole album with pictures of me and Dylan and only like 7 of those might be saved because my mom put some on her laptop. So those might be saved, but idk about the other ones. Plus the pictures from the last day of school with all my friends. That’s a bummer.

I hate viruses. I don’t understand why people make those, can’t they just leave us alone. I don’t think I got this virus from anywhere particular. My mom thinks I got it from this game I downloaded recently, but I really don’t know. =/ It just showed up randomly when I was viewing websites that I usually always go on.

I really want to watch some anime right now on Crunchyroll, but last night I was on that website and that’s when it came on, but I know the virus didn’t come from there, because I’ve been going on crunchyroll for the past like 2 years and it’s never given me a problem.

Hopefully my step dad can get rid of this virus and I’ll be able to re-write those documents, then everything would be fine. I can just take more pictures with Dylan. 🙂

Viruses are EVIL!

Yearly Quotes

Posted June 5, 2009 by butterflynight
Categories: Activities, Feelings, Ideas, School, Uncategorized

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Throughout the year I’ve created many quotes. These quotes helped me get through the school year, especially on the days I was upset. I warn you this is going to be a long post, but it’s all worth it. You’ll notice most of them are sad, because I started writing quotes while going through my break-up. Then you’ll notice how the quotes start to stop when I became happy again. You’re probably going to wonder how these quotes helped me get through the year. They helped the days go by faster, and they helped me let my feelings out.

The quotes go in a Monday to Sunday format because I wrote them down in my school agenda. Some weeks are missing because I wasn’t in school or didn’t think of any quotes. The ones with stars are the ones I really like. I hope you enjoy the quotes 🙂

September 8 – September 14
“Think back to all the good memories, to get over the bad ones.”
“If you want to forget, make new memories to cover up the old ones.”
“Today would of been our day”

September 15 – September 21
“People say you should live in the present not the future, well the present sucks.” *
“‘Being an individual is lonely”

September 22 – September 28
“I don’t know how to explain this feeling, but I do know it’s love.”
“I wish I lived in a world without heartbreak.”
“Life never gets easy.”
“Heartbroken what are we suppose to do now?” *

September 29 – October 5
“I’d rather die than feel this pain.”
“Cut my life into pieces, this is my last resort” Papa Roach 😛

October 6 – October 12
“I guess I gave up to easily.”
“When you feel like crying, just go ahead and cry. Sure it hurts, but you should already know you’re always going to get hurt and cry.” *
“In my world, it’s always raining.” *
“Am I your first or your forever.” – South of Nowhere
“Love doesn’t walk away, people do.”

October 13 – October 19
“This is the shocking pain of love and heartbreak.” *
“These tears are for you, can’t you see how much I care about you?”
“I want to be your one and only.”
“I cried so much, my eyes started to bleed.” (Not really)

October 20 – October 26
“This pain hurts so much, it’s annoying.”
“Holy OMGS!” -Rachel *
“Stop messing with my feelings.”

October 27 – November 2
“Don’t let people tell you what to do.”
“Don’t let people walk all over you.”
“This life just isn’t exciting.”

November 3 – November 9
“There’s no such thing as love or happiness. There’s only pain.”
“Don’t you hate it when your life changes when you don’t want it to?”

November 10 – November 16
“I’ll never get my chance with him.”
“You. Me. Friendship Night. Now!” *
“Stuck in a world full of nightmares.”
“This funny feeling of butterflies, where did it come from?”

November 17 – November 23
“Love is like war, if you play in it you’re going to get hurt.” *
“I’m so confused about my life. What am I going to do.”
“You’ll get over him soon, I won’t cause I actually fell in love with him.”
“These tears tell a story about a torn apart girl, whose life is so depressing.” *
“Why don’t you admit that you still love me? I already said I love you a million times.”

November 24 – November 30
“Everyone has good in them, you just have to find it.”
“These sweet dreams of mine are nothing like the real thing.” *
“Let’s look up into the stars and find a future together.” *
“I’m drowning in my thoughts of you.” *
“He makes my mind go wild!”
“This crush is so innocent.”
“Let you heart fly away.” *

December 1 – December 7
“Don’t push yourself too hard.”
~Face it you’ll never be happy~ “Just act like you didn’t see it, Just keep your head up, look to your future, keep smiling.” *
“Is it a sin to still love you?”
“Guys are so confusing and difficult to understand that it’s emotionally exhausting to us girls.”
“why am I changing like this? I need your help to get through it.”

December 8 – December 14
“Don’t I get a fairytale?”
“It would be nice if you lived in my world.” *
“She’s scared of losing him forever.”
“Be with who you want to be with. It doesn’t matter what other people say, it matters what’s in your heart.” *

December 15 – December 21
“Why can’t I be your one and only.”
“It’s like reaching out to touch him, but there’s something blocking your way.” *
“Love is a gentle thing…until someone screws up…”

January 5 – January 11
“Figure out who you are and the meaning to your life.”
“Another memory made in history.” *

January 12 – January 18
“You look back at all your memories and ask yourself ~What the hell happened~” *

January 19 – January 25
“Sometimes I just want to forget.”
“Seeing couples together just makes me think of what I don’t have.” *
“I always wonder what he’s thinking.”

January 26 – February 1
“Laugh at the people who hurt you, because their life must be bad if they have to hurt you.” *
“Don’t mistake my kindness for flirting.”
“I wish people would act their age.”
“If I went missing, would you even care?” *
“I feel like I’m drifting away from everyone again.”

February 2 – February 8
“Hearts don’t heal so easily.”
“Those scars will be famous one day.” *
“Flirt like there’s no tomorrow, something might happen that will change your life.” *
“Gotta get it on, Poke a ho!” lol good times, good times 😛
“I want to be good enough for him.”
“I broke his heart in half, he broke mine into a 100 pieces, there’s a difference.” *

February 9 – February 15
“Twist my words around and silence me.” *
“Speak out loud!”
“To love is to be loved.” *
“Tie me up and watch my tears fall down my face.” *

February 16 – February 22
“See this smile on my face, it’s only temporary.” *
“He makes my frown turn upside down.”
“His smile makes my glow.”

February 23 – March 1
“Have you ever thought you might have taken the wrong path.”
“I want to be the girl that everyone stops to stare at, but he’s the only one I’ll be concentrating.”

March 2 – March 8
“One day I’ll tell the world our story.” *
“Knowing that you love me back is all that I need.” *
“Seeing you made me smile for the first time.”
“Desperate for the future.”

March 9 – March 15
“Jealousy is an ugly thing.”

March 16 – March 22
“It feels like August 25th all over again.”
“I want to runaway to California.”
“Idiotic Boy toys ;D” *
Me: “I want to a clover.” Sharyn: “Then become a boy.” (Inside joke)

March 30 – April 5
“Life is moving once again into the beautiful direction.”
“Nothing beautiful comes from lies.”
“Engulfed in an ugly flame of pain.”

April 6 – April 12
“Wish for me on 11:11” *
“Feeling so distant from you.”

April 13 – April 19
“I like how my life is turning around.” 🙂
“I want to be the one to make you shine like a star.” *

April 20 – April 26
“Can’t wait to see your smiling face.”
“Waiting for something to ruin this happiness.” *
“I feel so safe in your arms.”
“When I’m with you, I feel like nothing else matters.” *
“Run away with me to the depths of despair.” *

April 27 – May 2
“Secrets live inside, tormenting her weak soul.” *

May 4 – May 10
“If you truly love me like you say, never let go, not for anything or anyone.” *

May 11 – May 17
“Don’t let other people take your happiness away.”
“Don’t complain about things you don’t have.”
“With his arms around this empty body, her soul will come back.” *

May 18 – May 24
“And thus we fell in love.” *

May 25 – May 31
“Hold me tighter then you’ve ever hugged anyone.”
“I miss being held by your arms.”
“I want your love and affection.”

June 1 – June 7
“Sleep for eternity, let all the stress go and relax.”

Finally, it’s done!!! XD Hope you enjoyed, I’m not going to put a picture or music video up. Basically because it will make it longer and you guys don’t need that.